I haven't been sleeping well lately. I wake up constantly to turn over or readjust the 3-5 pillows I'm using at any one time to TRY to find a comfortable position.
News Flash: There IS no comfortable position when you are 24 weeks pregnant. And this morning, as I tossed and turned I came up with a new realization... its only going to get worse from here (aren't I a ray of sunshine when I've been up all night?)
At my appointment yesterday, it was pretty routine -- Baby E's heartbeat is strong and healthy. I'm doing fine except that I've gained too much weight (darn you Thanksgiving seconds!! Darn you!) and am on track to gain the total weight of a toddler or a very small person during my pregnancy if I don't get it under control. I also had to drink a very sugary drink and they took MORE of my blood to test for gestational diabetes, so I should find out in the next day or so if there are any issues there. All seems to be a-ok which makes me really happy and sort of nervous.
Because I've had a pretty painless (comparatively) pregnancy. So does that mean I'm really going to "get it" when I deliver? Seems only fair, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for better luck. I was reading a book this morning with essays from various women talking about their transition to motherhood. In TWO of the essays, both women (in great detail) shared their gruesome birth stories, which included lots of ripping/tearing, bleeding, delivering AFTER the epidural had worn off, etc.
Seriously, THIS is supposed to inspire me about my near transition into motherhood? Maybe I should have waited to read this until AFTER my own personal delivery experience so I wasn't so out of my mind terrified at this very moment. With very limited experience of friends/family with little ones, the birth stories I have heard up until now sounded like a day at the spa in comparison with what these few women had to say about the "miracle" of birth. I knew it wouldn't be a picnic, but always felt that with modern medicine... and drugs... it would end up being fairly... um... well... easy? (Snickering can be heard from all the Moms who are reading this right now I'm sure).
It's true. I had completely deluded myself into thinking that the whole birthing process would be a smooth and painless process. In fact, I've avoided reading any of the sections of my pregnancy books that deal with birth just so I could keep up my happy, go-lucky avoidance of the subject. But pretty sure the bigger she gets, the more she kicks, the more real this all becomes -- the more I realize that she has to COME OUT OF THERE at some point. And now I've been reminded that it is NOT going to be pretty.