I've been told I need to write down the things that Kate says because some day I will forget. I often think there is NO WAY I could forget the hilarious crap that comes out of this kids mouth, but some of it is already slipping away. Sleep deprivation, old age or just a mental block to protect my sanity, for whatever reason I can only remember things she has said in the last week or so. Maybe its because so much that she says makes me laugh, cry or cringe. So here are a few recent gems from the world of Kate:
Me: Kate, Christmas is over. We need to put this music away for next year.
Kate: Mommy, why do you hate Christmas music?
Ben: Kate, do you see that bird? It is the Bald Eagle, our nation's bird. It is on the quarter
Kate: No daddy, its not on the quarter, its on that tree.
Kate: What is that?
Kate: When I grow up, I'm going to like beer.
Me: Kate, if you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Kate: To Jesus.
Me: Ah, thats sweet Kate, I love you.
Kate: I love God. And crocodiles.
Me: Stay here while I go get more water Kate.
Kate (yelling and wagging her finger at me while I walk across the restaurant): Don't get into any trouble mommy!!
Kate: MOMMY! I want to ride that bus!
Me: Kate, thats a school bus. You get to ride that when you are older.
Me: Because you have to be at least six years old to ride that bus. You have to be a Kindergartener.
Kate (tearfully): But I don't WANT to be a Kindergartener. I want to be KATE!
After I snapped at her because I had repeatedly asked her to do something and I lost my cool...
Kate: Mommy, don't yell at me. Emme doesn't yell (her two-year-old friend), Lisa doesn't yell (our neighbor), baby Merritt doesn't yell (Emme's four-month-old sister)... And Frosty the Snowman doesn't yell.
Me: Kate, if you help mommy and daddy and drag these two bags to the curb, I'll give you a dollar.
Kate (dragging one bag of leaves behind her): Mommy, I'll take this one, you take that one.
Me: Okay, but you only get fifty cents if you take only one bag.
Kate (stops in her tracks and looks back at me with attitude): TWO DOLLARS.
Me: Did you just raise your price on me?!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Because I rarely have more than 15 minutes to myself before the kids are asleep, and because after they finally DO go down I have about 15 minutes to eat dinner or get a shower before I pass out from sheer exhaustion, I am EXTREMELY behind in posting. Which may lead some of you to think that nothing is happening over here at the Edelspot, but HOLY LIFE CHANGING BATMAN, that couldn't be further from the truth.
- Little man is five months old, and not to get all gooey, but such a joy. I look at him while I'm rocking him each night and think, HOLY COW I forgot how great it is to love a little person who doesn't talk back, throw tantrums or ROLL HER EYES AT YOU (oh, yes, she did). He is just so smiley. So happy. So deliciously ROUND and sweet and pinchable. On January 9, after a day where my sweet adorable baby was a full-on fuss-face, I let him suck on my finger and discovered he had hidden a prison shank in there. Which is code for baby tooth, but I do know that if anyone I know ever gets sent to the pokey, instead of razor blades, I'm smuggling them a few baby teeth for protection. As for nursing... this may be the beginning of the end unless B can mind his manners. ARE YOU HEARING THIS BUDDY!?! He also has had his first few tentative meals of solid food (i.e. rice cereal) although he doesn't seem enamored with the stuff. Which I personally find shocking (SHOCKING) because I can't keep anything out of his mouth, except apparently bland, cold, milky cereal. GO FIGURE (insert sarcasm here).
- In other news, my daughter is amazeballs. Seriously. She has the power to make me simultaneously pull my hair in frustration and laugh until I cry. Her personality is... big. HUGE. There is no other way to put it. Her first dance recital was in December and she was such a ham she had the entire audience rolling. Our neighbors even had business colleagues who REMEMBERED HER DAYS LATER. She sees kids at our neighborhood playground and runs directly for them, yelling at me over her shoulder that her BEST FRIENDS(!!!!) are here -- despite the fact we've never met them. She is always listening and absorbing SO MUCH. When I talked to her about how some of her toys weren't safe for Beckett to play with, she just seemed to shrug off what I was telling her. But a few days later she named one of her My Little Ponies "Choking Hazard," and flew it around the room for a half hour yelling, "Choking Hazard to the rescue!!" She also has recently told me to... wait for it... SHUT UP. Which I know I've never said to her, so it has to have come from a movie or a conversation between grown-ups when we just forget that LITTLE EARS HEAR EVERYTHING. At least she hasn't picked up some of the other, ahem, even LESS attractive words that come out of my mouth on occasion. I'm frankly just waiting from the note that will come home from school one day saying, "Today your daughter cursed like a dirty sailor" but until then... *shrug* I mean, I'm trying here people. In other news, she rode her tricycle, I mean REALLY rode it, for the first time this week. And each day, with each eye roll, huff, hug, joke and snuggle I see my daughter becoming more and more her own sweet, funny, hilarious and just plain AWESOME person.
- Last, but certainly not least, we found, bought and moved into a new house in the 'burbs. As in the SUBURBS. As in, I saw a freaking PACK OF COYOTES running across the street three days ago, a hawk the size of a model airplane keeps circling out house looking for small children to abduct, and if you go out at night you can... wait for it... ACTUALLY SEE STARS. If you know us at all, you will know this isn't our scene so its been extremely life changing to say good-bye to the city. But we figured that since our new house is BEYOND fabulous, Ben's commute has been cut anywhere from 30-45 minutes, the public schools are pretty great AND since we haven't gone out, like, GONE OUT in about a year and a half, being 30 minutes from the city wasn't all that big of a deal. I'm adjusting. And shopping for the house. A lot. WEEEEEEE!