Monday, October 1, 2012

It's a Kate, Kate World: Second Edition

When you have a three-year-old, it is nearly guaranteed that whatever comes out of their mouth will make you swoon, sigh, swear or cringe. With Kate, sometimes I do all four. At the same time. Here is a little second edition of things my daughter has said recently that makes me realize, once again, it's a Kate, Kate world -- we are all just living in it.

Kate (shouting from somewhere in the house): MOM!

Me: Yes honey?

Kate: I love you!!

Me: Aww. I love you too sweetie. Where are you?


Kate: Going potty.


Me: Hm. I guess we all think about different things in there...


Me: Hey sweetie, you got an invitation to a classmate's birthday party! Is Benjamin nice, do you play with him?

Kate: Ew, no! Benjamin is a boy. WE don't like boys.

Me: Who, may I ask, is WE?

Kate: You know. Us. 

*head slap*

Me: So, all the girls in your class have decided you don't like boys?

Kate: Right.

Me: What about your brother? Don't you like him? HE is a boy.

Kate: I like Beckett. I like one boy.

Me: What about Daddy? Do you like him? HE is a boy.

Kate (sounding exasperated): I like Daddy. I like TWO boys.

Me: What about Pops? Do you like him? HE is a boy.


Me: Kate?

Kate: *SIGH* WHAT?

Me: *SIGH* Nevermind


Kate: Look! Look Mom, I did it! I wrote my name!

*showing me some scribbles on a piece of paper at the sign-in counter at the gym*

Me: Very nice Kate.

Kate: You know Mom, I don't know about about it, but I'm pretty sure I'm terrific at writing.


As I pick Kate up from school:

Me: Here Kate, I brought you strawberries.

Kate: STRAWBERRIES?!?!?! MOM, you are the BEST MOM!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

Me: Soooo. Strawberries every day after school?

Kate: Or you could bring chocolate milk. That would be pretty cool too Mom.


Kate walks into the kitchen with a dinosaur stuffed up her shirt.

Kate: "Daddy, do you like boobies?"

*Ben studiously ignores her while looking in the fridge*

Kate: Daddy? Do you like my BIG BOOBIES??

*Ben still looking in fridge and refusing to make eye contact with the three-year-old who is making him EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE*

Kate (parading around the kitchen): Daaaaaaaaaaddddddddyyyyyy.

Ben: KATE. Those are not boobies. That is a dinosaur. Take it out of your shirt.

Kate (pouting): When I grow up, I'm going to have boobies.

*awkward silence*

Kate: BIG boobies.

*Kate stomps out of kitchen. Ben rolls into the fetal position on the floor. I laugh so hard I nearly pee myself*