Kate (shouting from somewhere in the house): MOM!
Me: Yes honey?
Kate: I love you!!
Me: Aww. I love you too sweetie. Where are you?
Kate: Going potty.
Me: Hm. I guess we all think about different things in there...
Me: Hey sweetie, you got an invitation to a classmate's birthday party! Is Benjamin nice, do you play with him?
Kate: Ew, no! Benjamin is a boy. WE don't like boys.
Me: Who, may I ask, is WE?
Kate: You know. Us.
Me: So, all the girls in your class have decided you don't like boys?
Me: What about your brother? Don't you like him? HE is a boy.
Kate: I like Beckett. I like one boy.
Me: What about Daddy? Do you like him? HE is a boy.
Kate (sounding exasperated): I like Daddy. I like TWO boys.
Me: What about Pops? Do you like him? HE is a boy.
Kate: *SIGH* WHAT?
Me: *SIGH* Nevermind
Kate: Look! Look Mom, I did it! I wrote my name!
*showing me some scribbles on a piece of paper at the sign-in counter at the gym*
Me: Very nice Kate.
Kate: You know Mom, I don't know about about it, but I'm pretty sure I'm terrific at writing.
As I pick Kate up from school:
Me: Here Kate, I brought you strawberries.
Kate: STRAWBERRIES?!?!?! MOM, you are the BEST MOM!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
Me: Soooo. Strawberries every day after school?
Kate: Or you could bring chocolate milk. That would be pretty cool too Mom.
Kate walks into the kitchen with a dinosaur stuffed up her shirt.
Kate: "Daddy, do you like boobies?"
*Ben studiously ignores her while looking in the fridge*
Kate: Daddy? Do you like my BIG BOOBIES??
*Ben still looking in fridge and refusing to make eye contact with the three-year-old who is making him EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE*
Kate (parading around the kitchen): Daaaaaaaaaaddddddddyyyyyy.
Ben: KATE. Those are not boobies. That is a dinosaur. Take it out of your shirt.
Kate (pouting): When I grow up, I'm going to have boobies.
Kate: BIG boobies.
*Kate stomps out of kitchen. Ben rolls into the fetal position on the floor. I laugh so hard I nearly pee myself*