Friday, October 31, 2008
Yesterday was my birthday and it was a fantastic day. I took the day off from work and only had to spend ONE hour on a client call, which is pretty good considering the track record of my "days off." Then Ben sent me on a spa day, a treat that happens every year on my birthday and for which I become more grateful for each year as it feels I have less and less time for myself. For two hours, I was massaged and rubbed and relaxed and painted and buffed and paraffined, and I left feeling like a million bucks. And to top off the day, Ben came back from out of town (it really is exciting when I get to see him after he has been gone a few days, as silly as that sounds) and after dinner we shared a few Sprinkles cupcakes that he bought as a surprise. I went to sleep feeling extremely loved from all the gifts and well-wishes that my parents, husband and new family sent -- a feeling that I don't think will ever get old.
When I was little, I used to hate going to sleep overs because I worried about my parents. I'd get anxiety in the middle of the night and would need to see them RIGHT AWAY... and looking back I attribute this to the fact that I was an only child. A VERY loved only child. My family was my whole world, and I always knew that if something happened to my parents, my whole world would go away. And while I still feel the same (maybe more) love for my parents, I also feel an intense comfort and gratitude in the family I've adopted through my marriage. While I feel this way all the time, special days (like birthdays) remind me just how lucky I am to have parents who love me as much as they do, a husband who loves me as much as he does, and an extended family who has accepted me with such open arms and open hearts.
I can't wait to bring Baby E into this family.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Why? Because it makes me feel better for being a little crazy myself. I was watching "Where the Heart Is" yesterday during my lunch break, and I cried THREE SEPARATE TIMES in a 45 minute window. Hell, I cried the last time I watched "School of Rock" because dang it if I didn't feel a strong surge of emotion at the end during the battle of the bands scene... I was just so proud of those little elementary school rockers, especially the nerdy Asian kid who rocked the wicked mohawk.
But the crazy isn't limited to crying by myself while watching TV. I find myself being shorter with co-workers (What?? You couldn't read my mind that I wanted this YESTERDAY??), less interested in seeing anyone socially (If I can't wear my PJs and have to wash my hair, I think I'll skip it, thank you), and worst of all, scaring myself and my husband with odd moments of what I think we can classify as hysteria.
The first time this pregnancy-driven hysteria happened was towards the very beginning of my pregnancy. We'd recently found out about the baby and while we were extremely excited, we were also just getting used to this whole situation. I was sick as a dog with heart burn, nausea and bloating and felt like an alien was taking over my body (Which movie is it where the alien jumps out of some guy's stomach and starts singing "hello my baby?" Yeah, it felt like that.)
So one night, Ben and I are getting ready for bed, and...well, there is no nice way to put it. I farted. I did. I was gassy and bloated and everyone does it but even more so ALL THE BOOKS SAY IT HAPPENS TO PREGNANT WOMEN MORE so if you are acting all grossed out now, get over yourself.
But poor Ben, he hadn't quite acquired the nonchalance needed for having a pregnant wife yet, so he makes a few gagging noises and a few jokes about it and I laugh good naturedly and that should have been the end of it. But instead I laughed good naturedly for a second, and then laughed a little louder. Then, I started laughing hysterically in the "I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard" sort of way and then all of a sudden I have tears running down my face and I'm no longer laughing, but literally sobbing. SOBBING. And. I. Can't. Stop. And every once in awhile, I start to get a hold of myself and I start LAUGHING again which then descends back into sobbing. And Ben is just looking at me, trying to soothe me but feeling WAAAAAY out of his element. This goes on for a good 15 minutes (in which I'm alternating between cackling like an escapee from a looney bin and bawling like a baby) until he finally says, in the most loving and Ben-like way possible, "Honey, you are scaring me."
Frightening my significant other was never in the plan, so I excused myself to the bathroom where I turned on the faucet so he couldn't hear me and started mentally instructing myself to GET A FREAKING GRIP! I was able to calm down fairly quickly then, but I'm pretty sure I scarred Ben for life. The same laugh/cry crazy started to happen one more time a few months later in the pregnancy but I recognized it for what it was heading towards and put the kibosh on it before I could scare Ben again. If you do however happen to walk into a room where I'm laughing and crying... back out slowly and pretend you never saw me... I'm just showing my crazy.
And, since I don't have any pretty pictures for this post I did a little research and found (for your viewing pleasure) the alien scene from Spaceballs.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Anyhoo, the cheesy coating protects E's skin from amniotic fluid. Also, the baby's brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. But, probably the most exciting thing about week 19 is that its only ONE WEEK until we find out if E is a boy or a girl!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Also, for my own personal enjoyment, please see the huge amount of TRASH we now have in our home from the packaging the crib and dresser came in -- Tada! This guarantees we can't even put furniture in the right place in the nursery until the next bulk trash day. Sigh.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Which, would be great except for that we can't put it together because, ahem, the manufacturer is apparently a huge cluster f*ck who routinely forgets to put instructions in their boxes. Their boxes containing CRIBS, which BABIES SLEEP IN, so, yeah, I mean -- lets just throw that shit together, who needs instructions?
Ben was so frustrated he got online to find instructions, which only fueled his anger when he found OTHER frustrated parents-to-be online complaining about the manufacturer not remembering to put instructions in THEIR boxes either (head slap).
We've requested instructions and have been instructed that they may or may not be located in the box labeled "springs" instead of the box labeled "instructions and parts" so I'll post pictures of our beautiful crib tomorrow if the "springs" box pays off. In the meantime, see below these beautifully shot photos of the crib we hope to put together some day.
It is always worse when Ben is traveling - because then I actually have the option of not staying in bed. Tonight I played Bejeweled on my phone for a few rounds and then decided to get up and grab my laptop. That is when I took this picture of Jackson at the foot of the bed giving me the "you have got to be shitting me" look when I turned on the light. Please notice his scruffy appearance - I spent the evening brushing him, but he only gave me access to the right side - his left side is still all scraggly making him appear to be half Yeti. And don't say anything about his weight -- we are sensitive about that.
I guess I've always had issues with hitting dreamland. I would like to categorize myself as fairly chill, but I had issues even as a child. I don't remember what age I was, but I have been stressing since I was at least in middle school, if not earlier. Back then, I remember it was about doing something wrong and being sent to the "Trojan Pride Room" aka nice word for detention. Which would make sense if I was the hellion child of the fourth grade, bringing smokes to school and flipping teachers the bird, but I was a fairly mild mannered kiddo. I think even back then, my brain just needed something to chew on regularly, especially when I really just wanted to go to sleep.
I met with a nice lady who tried to reason with me (silly lady) and eventually decided that since I was holding on to my fears of the Trojan Pride Room like a dog with a bone (sorry, but Jack is still giving me the EYE from the bottom of the bed) she would teach me some relaxation techniques to help me sleep. Not counting sheep (which for the record, visualizing sheep only wakes me up more b/c I have to concentrate on exactly what the sheep look like, the movement, how many, why one sheep may be smaller than the others, etc.) but what she called "organizing my closet." It is a simple exercise where you visualize a closet with lots of shelf space and hanging areas, and you slowly but surely think of everything on your mind, and put each item in its place in the closet. And when you are all done emptying your mind, you close the closet door and walk away. In theory, you should be asleep before you shut your closet door or soon after, but sometimes it takes me a few tries. Especially now that I'm older, and I still use the technique, I come up with things that I didn't even realize were on my mind, but once they are fully OUT THERE I have to mull all of those issues over before I put them on their shelf. Sometimes I end up more stressed than when I was having a hard time sleeping, but those times are few and far between.
So there is something that I learned in the fourth grade that I'm still using today. Although not tonight, because instead I chose to turn on the light and anger my happily sleeping dog. And, I did that because I'm a little afraid to think about what might be lurking in my mind that I need to organize in my closet. To date, I've spent my entire pregnancy just bouncing through life feeling thrilled with the knowledge that we are going to have a baby. A sweet, cuddly, loving and sometimes irrational baby. A really well-meaning and caring friend recently sent me a subscription to Parents magazine, and the first two issues I sat down with and devoured immediately. There were so many tips, so many products, so many warnings. And this magazine had it all, from pregnancy to school-aged children. And in the back of my mind, I think I'm starting to realize that I'm not having a baby - no, I'm having a baby, that will grow to a toddler, that will eventually go to grade school, that will soon be a teenager and HOLY SHIT WHAT DO I DO WITH A TEENAGER!?!?!?!?!?!?
I'm still thrilled that Ben and I are having a baby. He is going to be an amazing father, and I don't think I'll do too shabby of a job either. I can't believe how lucky I am that I have a life growing inside me. I'm just starting to realize the weight, not just the joy, that comes with this little package.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
All in all, I have a less than 1 in 5,000 chance of having a baby with Down Sydrome, and a less than one in 3,300 chance of having a baby with Spina Bifida -- which are both really really good news. Yeah for a healthy baby Edelbrock!
Monday, October 13, 2008
The next very "good-husband" moment (there are tons, but just highlighting a few) was when I got a suprise delivery of roses to my office. They were bright pink and lovely - lasted for probably two weeks which is unheard of since anything I touch immediately dies (in the plant variety that is). So, I'm ooh-ing and aah-ing over how sweet Ben was to get me flowers, but when I talked to him I was floored.
I wasn't too far off. I just skipped seeing a doctor at all! Both doctors in the practice were doing a c-section, so I was there on my own. The nurse practictioner, who Ben and I both like a lot, told us that we didn't need to wait, this was just a routine "check my weight, my blood my pee" and go. So we ended up asking her a few questions and then scheduling our next appointment and heading out. Ben and I joke that we will want Mary (our nurse practitioner) in the delivery room because we know her best, and if she wants to bring along one of the docs - that would be okay too.
So no really big updates from the third appointment. My blood work is to determine if we have genetic markers for any of the scary diseases such as cystic fibrosis, and we should hear in a few days. The fun news is that in just a few short weeks - Ben and I will get to know if baby Edelbrock is a boy or a girl!! Now THAT is going to be a fun appointment.
Oh - this week baby Edelbrock is an onion. And is doing lots of cool stuff.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Baby Edelbrock is a naval orange now - I just want to see the little bugger again. I don't think I get to do that for another five weeks, so until then, I'll just continue to visualize my baby as this week's fruit.
What Baby Edelbrock is Up To This Week: Continuing the march towards normal proportions, baby's legs now outmeasure the arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably still can't feel the movements.