I've been told I need to write down the things that Kate says because some day I will forget. I often think there is NO WAY I could forget the hilarious crap that comes out of this kids mouth, but some of it is already slipping away. Sleep deprivation, old age or just a mental block to protect my sanity, for whatever reason I can only remember things she has said in the last week or so. Maybe its because so much that she says makes me laugh, cry or cringe. So here are a few recent gems from the world of Kate:
Me: Kate, Christmas is over. We need to put this music away for next year.
Kate: Mommy, why do you hate Christmas music?
Ben: Kate, do you see that bird? It is the Bald Eagle, our nation's bird. It is on the quarter
Kate: No daddy, its not on the quarter, its on that tree.
Kate: What is that?
Kate: When I grow up, I'm going to like beer.
Me: Kate, if you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Kate: To Jesus.
Me: Ah, thats sweet Kate, I love you.
Kate: I love God. And crocodiles.
Me: Stay here while I go get more water Kate.
Kate (yelling and wagging her finger at me while I walk across the restaurant): Don't get into any trouble mommy!!
Kate: MOMMY! I want to ride that bus!
Me: Kate, thats a school bus. You get to ride that when you are older.
Me: Because you have to be at least six years old to ride that bus. You have to be a Kindergartener.
Kate (tearfully): But I don't WANT to be a Kindergartener. I want to be KATE!
After I snapped at her because I had repeatedly asked her to do something and I lost my cool...
Kate: Mommy, don't yell at me. Emme doesn't yell (her two-year-old friend), Lisa doesn't yell (our neighbor), baby Merritt doesn't yell (Emme's four-month-old sister)... And Frosty the Snowman doesn't yell.
Me: Kate, if you help mommy and daddy and drag these two bags to the curb, I'll give you a dollar.
Kate (dragging one bag of leaves behind her): Mommy, I'll take this one, you take that one.
Me: Okay, but you only get fifty cents if you take only one bag.
Kate (stops in her tracks and looks back at me with attitude): TWO DOLLARS.
Me: Did you just raise your price on me?!