Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Regrets

My life has been blessed. I think that underneath all my imperfections (and there are a lot of them!), I am a good person. Well, most of the time. After I've had my coffee.

However, once in awhile a regret from my life pops up and and I find myself working it over and over in my mind. These things that I can't let go of, even years later, because they should have turned out differently. I think of friends lost, relationships damaged, words that can't be taken back. I think of people I let take advantage of me, and of people I've taken advantage of. I think of how things could have been handled differently if I had been older, wiser, more mature or just more comfortable in my own skin.

As Kate gets older, I've started worrying about the future regrets she will have. I think about the life lessons I will  share with her and how I will try to help her heal the emotional wounds she will inevitably suffer. Sometimes, like today, I think about what an enormous job we've been given as parents. To raise someone to be good, and kind. To have fewer regrets. To cause less hurt, and to hurt less. When I look at Kate, I think of her future and I pray that she ends up a happier person, a better person.

But no pressure.

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