It's a Kate, Kate World: Second Edition

When you have a three-year-old, it is nearly guaranteed that whatever comes out of their mouth will make you swoon, sigh, swear or cringe. With Kate, sometimes I do all four. At the same time. Here is a little second edition of things my daughter has said recently that makes me realize, once again, it's a Kate, Kate world -- we are all just living in it.

Kate (shouting from somewhere in the house): MOM!

Me: Yes honey?

Kate: I love you!!

Me: Aww. I love you too sweetie. Where are you?

*silence*

Kate: Going potty.

*silence*

Me: Hm. I guess we all think about different things in there...

----

Me: Hey sweetie, you got an invitation to a classmate's birthday party! Is Benjamin nice, do you play with him?

Kate: Ew, no! Benjamin is a boy. WE don't like boys.

Me: Who, may I ask, is WE?

Kate: You know. Us. 

*head slap*

Me: So, all the girls in your class have decided you don't like boys?

Kate: Right.

Me: What about your brother? Don't you like him? HE is a boy.

Kate: I like Beckett. I like one boy.

Me: What about Daddy? Do you like him? HE is a boy.

Kate (sounding exasperated): I like Daddy. I like TWO boys.

Me: What about Pops? Do you like him? HE is a boy.

*silence*

Me: Kate?

Kate: *SIGH* WHAT?

Me: *SIGH* Nevermind

-----

Kate: Look! Look Mom, I did it! I wrote my name!

*showing me some scribbles on a piece of paper at the sign-in counter at the gym*

Me: Very nice Kate.

Kate: You know Mom, I don't know about about it, but I'm pretty sure I'm terrific at writing.

-----

As I pick Kate up from school:

Me: Here Kate, I brought you strawberries.

Kate: STRAWBERRIES?!?!?! MOM, you are the BEST MOM!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

Me: Soooo. Strawberries every day after school?

Kate: Or you could bring chocolate milk. That would be pretty cool too Mom.

-----

Kate walks into the kitchen with a dinosaur stuffed up her shirt.

Kate: "Daddy, do you like boobies?"

*Ben studiously ignores her while looking in the fridge*

Kate: Daddy? Do you like my BIG BOOBIES??

*Ben still looking in fridge and refusing to make eye contact with the three-year-old who is making him EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE*

Kate (parading around the kitchen): Daaaaaaaaaaddddddddyyyyyy.

Ben: KATE. Those are not boobies. That is a dinosaur. Take it out of your shirt.

Kate (pouting): When I grow up, I'm going to have boobies.

*awkward silence*

Kate: BIG boobies.

*Kate stomps out of kitchen. Ben rolls into the fetal position on the floor. I laugh so hard I nearly pee myself*

Best Friends

Beckett's Ball Themed Birthday

I'm currently blogging from a stationary bike at the gym. It's the closest thing to a couch I could find here, and of I pedal slowly enough, it's like I'm basically sitting still, so it will have to do.

You may be wondering why am I at the gym in the first place, if I have no interest in working out. And it's quite simple.

I am hiding from my children.

That's right. I have come to the gym simply to use their (highly qualified... Or at least passed a background check) childcare. Don't judge. I'm tired, and if the choice is TV or social interaction, at least I chose to force them to be social. So. Mother of the Year here.

The truth is, we just got back from a family reunion and my kids are coming off the high that comes with being the centers of attention from not one, not five, but forty-two freaking family members. Meaning, my kids are being total a-holes.

However, now that I've shuttled them off for an hour or so, I need to catch up on the happenings at the Edelspot. This blog started as a way to chronicle our family when I was pregnant with Kate, and her every milestone for the first two years have been captured. I love that when someone asks me a question about her development, I can simply search the blog for an answer. It's my next-gen baby book. But if I had to rely on the blog for B's development, I'd be limited to the fact that yes, he was born. He nursed for awhile, had shark teeth and was a big freaking boy.

Hope he doesn't have too many questions for me. Because I may have to tell him we lost his "baby book" in a tragic fire. Better excuse than, "Mommy didn't blog about you because your babyhood flew by as she tried to figure out how exactly a family of four worked, and you were lucky to have clean clothes bc there was so little time for anything besides you and your sister so LAY OFF!"

Ahem. Sorry.

Anyways, I feel the need to cover off on a few major milestones, because despite my belief I will never be able to forget the beautiful moments, they do slip away.

So, Beckett started crawling the week after he turned 8 months. He is now hell on wheels. Super fast and almost always chasing after his sister. They like to body slam one another. Which gives me palpitations each time and I remind Late 50 times a day to be gentle... But he always comes back for more (boys. Who understands them??)

Beck also says Dada. And knows its Ben. I have explained to Kate that Dada is simply easier to say than mama, but Ben tends to gloat about it anyways. It's true though that B just loves his daddy.

When we went to Ohio for the family reunion, everyone nicknamed Beck Mr. Happy. And it's so true, the kid is a joy.

Kate rode her first roller coaster last week at Cedar Point. She amazes me with her lack of fear. She has handled our move beautifully. She matches into any day care/classroom like she owns the place. She walks up to kids older than her and tells them her name and asks theirs. My little three-year old has more self-assurance and social graces than half the adults I meet. My heart is full of that little, defiant, strong, awesome kiddo.

Oh, and Beck can (and will) eat anything you put in front of him. He truly seems to eat more than Kate. I keep telling her that he will be bigger than her soon, but her pickiness seems to override her fear of Beckett. The force against eating anything healthy is strong in that one.

I suppose those are the major updates. I should probably quit using this bike as my own personal lounge chair and collect the kiddos. Oh, wait, I think Ellen is going to come on TV soon. Maybe just another half hour...

Whining and weaning

I'm weaning Beckett.

I've nursed him nearly two months longer than I nursed Kate, partially because when Kate was six months old we went on a vacation without her and my milk started to dry up, leading to a pretty easy and natural weaning. But the other reason I have continued to nurse Beckett is more emotional. Ben and I are (sort of) in agreement (sometimes) that B will be our last. Which means this is the last time I will nurse, using my breasts for a higher purpose (MY BREASTS ARE AMAZING! THEY GIVE LIFE! THEY FEED ANOTHER HUMAN!) rather than just weekend funbags for the hubs (who is all, YOUR BREASTS ARE AMAZING! CAN I TOUCH THEM AGAIN??)

But when Beckett sprouted his sixth (SIXTH!!?! WTF??) tooth, I decided it was time to cut the cord. Because each nursing session was like breastfeeding a baby bear. Or a cuddly tiger. OR FUCKING JAWS.

So I started last week giving him only bottles after lunch. He was pretty not okay with the whole situation, but I learned that if I just propped him up on a pillow, handed him a bottle and hid out of sight, little dude would drink. Because while boob was his preference, he seemed to figure that starving would suck more than drinking out of a bottle. Once we got that figured out, I felt ready to make the switch. So two days ago, after his early morning feeding I made the decision that we were done. That was my last feeding. And that day was great. And I patted myself on the back for a successful weaning.

And it has been. For Beckett anyways. Besides an occasional nudge at the old ta-tas, he seems to be okay with it.

I, on the other hand, am a full-on, hot mess.

I realized my hormones were getting all wonky about a day later when I started tearing up in the grocery store for no reason. Since then, I've been on a wild ride of happy, sad, angry and back to happy every 10-30 minutes. Ben is staying out of my way, which is a good sign I'm being a complete basket case. And if that wasn't enough, my boobs feel like they have been replaced by two bowling balls and my nipples have been hard for a full 48 hours.

FORTY-EIGHT HOURS.

So wish me luck. Because I swear on everything holy, I feel like if my body produces ONE MORE OUNCE OF MILK my breasts will literally explode.

And that would suck.

Brother B is Eight Months

Oh, hey there.

I'm Beckett. I turned 8 months old on April 13,  and I'm kind of a big deal.

What? You don't believe me?

Well then check me out. I don't exactly crawl yet. But from sitting I can lunge and wiggle and reach just about anything I want, then push myself back to my favorite position (sitting). Who wants to crawl around and play on their stomach when you can just grab a toy and sit back up to play with it?!

And I suck my fingers. Like a boss.

Because pacifiers and thumbs are for babies.

And everywhere I go, people stop my parents to tell them I have great hair. And, I'm all, "I KNOW!" 

 I make this face a lot because I already have five chompers and more are on the way, so I am constantly grinding my teeth. It feels great to me, but makes my parents cringe because it sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Basically, I'm a super happy kiddo. I'm loveable and squeezeable. I sleep 12-13 hours a night. I play well by myself, love to make noises, babble, throw toys and play with my big sister. I'm all boy and all joy. 

Seriously. I'm a big deal.

Still alive (sort of)

Hi there. Hey. Remember me?

Yeah. We are alive over here. And I know I've begun just about every post this way, but I haven't blogged in awhile because we are, like, uh, TOTALLY BUSY AND IMPORTANT.

Scratch that. The important part anyway. We are just busy, and I'm, LE TIRED because I haven't adjusted to having two children needing me EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY WAKING HOUR FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY I JUST NEED TEN MINUTES TO MYSELF PLEEEEEEASEEEEEEEEE.

Ahem.

Sorry. Anyways, you may be asking, "Well, Liz, what (besides having two extremely busy children demanding your every waking hour) have you been doing these last few months?"

And I would tell you that we:

Listed, and sold, our old home (sniff)
Celebrated Kate's third (THIRD!!!!) birthday in grand style
Went on a family ski trip
Visited family for Easter
Continued to unpack boxes in our new house because we STILL have boxes to go through (sigh)

So, yep. That is about it. I write this just so I can actually start some in-depth posts again without a completely confusing everyone, so get ready for some really juicy Edelspotting in the next few hours (or days, or weeks. Whatever, because I haven't been able to finish a conversation since Beckett was born, let alone write an entire post uninterrupted and I don't want to make any promises here).

So anyways, here we go again!

Speak easy

You want to know what is SUPER about having an extremely verbal toddler (and when I say super, I say it with a strong dose of sarcasm). It is just SUPER that they can now verbalize their thoughts and opinions, sometimes to your great shame and embarrassment.

Exhibit A: Two weeks ago at school

Kate: What's that?
Teacher: Information about an exercise class I'm going to take.
Kate: My mommy used to exercise. But she doesn't any more. She is just TOO TIRED.

Well. Yes. I AM often too tired because I haven't had a full night's sleep in six months, but sweetie, THIS IS SOMETHING WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT IN PUBLIC UNLESS YOU WANT MOMMY TO TELL YOUR 'POOP IN TARGET' STORY ON YOUR WEDDING DAY.

Threaten my child with future humiliation? That doesn't sound like me. At. All. (wink)

So this little gem shamed me enough to join the local gym near our new house and buy new running shoes. But her assault on my self esteem was not yet complete, because last week when I picked her up her teachers had a new and DOUBLE SUPER story to share.

Exhibit B: Last week at school

Classmate 1: My mommy runs errands and exercises.
Classmate 2: My mommy changes diapers.
Kate: My mommy does nothing.

Wait, wait, did you catch that? Let me recap. When discussing me with her classmates at school, Kate declared that I DO NOTHING. Like, all day long I just sit on the couch eating bon-bons and ignoring my two young children. But, then, its probably just because I'm SO TIRED.

Luckily, I have a well developed sense of passive-aggressiveness that has allowed me to cope. The next day, when Kate wanted to play with me I told her she had to play by herself because I was busy. She asked me what I was doing and I got a ridiculous amount satisfaction when I answered,

"Nothing."

Yes, I AM silly and childish, thank you for asking. I also gave myself a mental high-five when I said it, so, there you go.

But seriously. You don't have to worry about me. I'm currently planning my payback strategy. It won't go into effect until she is about 16, but trust me.

Kate is going to learn, it doesn't pay to tell tales on Momma.

It's a Kate, Kate world

I've been told I need to write down the things that Kate says because some day I will forget. I often think there is NO WAY I could forget the hilarious crap that comes out of this kids mouth, but some of it is already slipping away. Sleep deprivation, old age or just a mental block to protect my sanity, for whatever reason I can only remember things she has said in the last week or so. Maybe its because so much that she says makes me laugh, cry or cringe. So here are a few recent gems from the world of Kate:

***

Me: Kate, Christmas is over. We need to put this music away for next year.
Kate: Mommy, why do you hate Christmas music?

***

Ben: Kate, do you see that bird? It is the Bald Eagle, our nation's bird. It is on the quarter
Kate: No daddy, its not on the quarter, its on that tree.

***

Kate: What is that?
Ben: Beer.
Kate: When I grow up, I'm going to like beer.
Me: *sigh*

***

Me: Kate, if you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Kate: To Jesus.
Me: Ah, thats sweet Kate, I love you.
Kate: I love God. And crocodiles.

***

Me: Stay here while I go get more water Kate.
Kate (yelling and wagging her finger at me while I walk across the restaurant): Don't get into any trouble mommy!!

***

Kate: MOMMY! I want to ride that bus!
Me: Kate, thats a school bus. You get to ride that when you are older.
Kate: Why?
Me: Because you have to be at least six years old to ride that bus. You have to be a Kindergartener.
Kate (tearfully): But I don't WANT to be a Kindergartener. I want to be KATE!

***

After I snapped at her because I had repeatedly asked her to do something and I lost my cool...

Kate: Mommy, don't yell at me. Emme doesn't yell (her two-year-old friend), Lisa doesn't yell (our neighbor), baby Merritt doesn't yell (Emme's four-month-old sister)... And Frosty the Snowman doesn't yell.

***

Me: Kate, if you help mommy and daddy and drag these two bags to the curb, I'll give you a dollar.
Kate (dragging one bag of leaves behind her): Mommy, I'll take this one, you take that one.
Me: Okay, but you only get fifty cents if you take only one bag.
Kate (stops in her tracks and looks back at me with attitude): TWO DOLLARS.
Me: Did you just raise your price on me?!

Around the EdelSpot

Because I rarely have more than 15 minutes to myself before the kids are asleep, and because after they finally DO go down I have about 15 minutes to eat dinner or get a shower before I pass out from sheer exhaustion, I am EXTREMELY behind in posting. Which may lead some of you to think that nothing is happening over here at the Edelspot, but HOLY LIFE CHANGING BATMAN, that couldn't be further from the truth.

1. Little man is five months old, and not to get all gooey, but such a joy. I look at him while I'm rocking him each night and think, HOLY COW I forgot how great it is to love a little person who doesn't talk back, throw tantrums or ROLL HER EYES AT YOU (oh, yes, she did). He is just so smiley. So happy. So deliciously ROUND and sweet and pinchable. On January 9, after a day where my sweet adorable baby was a full-on fuss-face, I let him suck on my finger and discovered he had hidden a prison shank in there. Which is code for baby tooth, but I do know that if anyone I know ever gets sent to the pokey, instead of razor blades, I'm smuggling them a few baby teeth for protection. As for nursing... this may be the beginning of the end unless B can mind his manners. ARE YOU HEARING THIS BUDDY!?! He also has had his first few tentative meals of solid food (i.e. rice cereal) although he doesn't seem enamored with the stuff. Which I personally find shocking (SHOCKING) because I can't keep anything out of his mouth, except apparently bland, cold, milky cereal. GO FIGURE (insert sarcasm here).
2. In other news, my daughter is amazeballs. Seriously. She has the power to make me simultaneously pull my hair in frustration and laugh until I cry. Her personality is... big. HUGE. There is no other way to put it. Her first dance recital was in December and she was such a ham she had the entire audience rolling. Our neighbors even had business colleagues who REMEMBERED HER DAYS LATER. She sees kids at our neighborhood playground and runs directly for them, yelling at me over her shoulder that her BEST FRIENDS(!!!!) are here -- despite the fact we've never met them. She is always listening and absorbing SO MUCH. When I talked to her about how some of her toys weren't safe for Beckett to play with, she just seemed to shrug off what I was telling her. But a few days later she named one of her My Little Ponies "Choking Hazard," and flew it around the room for a half hour yelling, "Choking Hazard to the rescue!!" She also has recently told me to... wait for it... SHUT UP. Which I know I've never said to her, so it has to have come from a movie or a conversation between grown-ups when we just forget that LITTLE EARS HEAR EVERYTHING. At least she hasn't picked up some of the other, ahem, even LESS attractive words that come out of my mouth on occasion. I'm frankly just waiting from the note that will come home from school one day saying, "Today your daughter cursed like a dirty sailor" but until then... *shrug* I mean, I'm trying here people. In other news, she rode her tricycle, I mean REALLY rode it, for the first time this week. And each day, with each eye roll, huff, hug, joke and snuggle I see my daughter becoming more and more her own sweet, funny, hilarious and just plain AWESOME person. 
3. Last, but certainly not least, we found, bought and moved into a new house in the 'burbs. As in the SUBURBS. As in, I saw a freaking PACK OF COYOTES running across the street three days ago, a hawk the size of a model airplane keeps circling out house looking for small children to abduct, and if you go out at night you can... wait for it... ACTUALLY SEE STARS. If you know us at all, you will know this isn't our scene so its been extremely life changing to say good-bye to the city. But we figured that since our new house is BEYOND fabulous, Ben's commute has been cut anywhere from 30-45 minutes, the public schools are pretty great AND since we haven't gone out, like, GONE OUT in about a year and a half, being 30 minutes from the city wasn't all that big of a deal. I'm adjusting. And shopping for the house. A lot. WEEEEEEE!