Perfect pearlies

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. Becoming a parent makes you stupid. Or, at least feel stupid. Latest case in point:

At the beginning of August I was extremely impressed with my baby for sprouting her first tooth. I even posted about it so that one day, Kate could Google herself and know exactly when her first pearly white appeared.

Just goes to show. Don't trust anything you read on the Internet.

You see, this is another example of my sheer stupidity (or extreme ignorance, pick whichever phrase tickles your fancy) and lack of knowledge about anything baby. For weeks, I gave Kate Tylenol and rubbed Orajel on her upper gums, hoping to soothe the beast and make that little tooth's passage into Katieland a pleasant and easy trip.

So time goes by and nothing new happens. I just couldn't quite figure out what was taking it so long to finish coming in. Then one day, as Kate is joyfully sticking all of my fingers one by one into her mouth, I realize that she has either figured out how to stash a prison shank in there or she has a MOTHER F-ING tooth in her mouth that is the approximate sharpness of a razor blade.

I flip Kate on her back and pry her mouth open to stare at the offending tooth. And here is the rub, here is where it just goes to show what a nit I am. I look in her mouth and think, HOLY SHIT, it looks like an actual tooth, not like that smooth little bump that I THOUGHT was a tooth that is... wait for it... wait for it... WHERE THE F IS THAT FIRST TOOTH??

Yes folks. The first "tooth" was some little white bump (that I now know is called a Bohn nodule) on her upper gums that simply went away, not actually a tooth. Her first REAL tooth came in about a month later on her LOWER gums. Poor Kate is teething, and I'm treating the WRONG FLIPPING PART OF HER MOUTH. And frankly, now that I know what an actual baby tooth looks/feels like when it is coming in, I realize how stupid it was to think that first little delicate white NOTHING was a tooth.

I do have to say, she has been a good sport about the whole thing. But sometimes, just once in awhile, I get the feeling Kate is looking at me and wondering if I know what the hell I'm doing.

No sweetie, mommy sure doesn't.