There is a distinct possibility that my child is an evil genius. A cute, cuddly, ball of devious intellect.
And I say this with love and pride.
Every week she continues to come up with new ways to outwit Ben and I. Early on in life she had a canny sense for when I was trying to get out of the house with her. In a fine orchestra of bodily fluids, she would poop, pee and urp on everything she could reach, including her clothing, my clothing, her crib sheets, her changing table, the car seat, etc. By the time she and I were both cleaned up, she would be hungry again and I would be tired and likely mommy's outing to the grocery store for toilet paper was canceled.
But it didn't stop there. She began LEARNING. And her genius developed even more. You see, Kate hates (LOATHES) a wet diaper. For stupid parents who can't tell if a diaper truly is wet (I include myself in this category) Pampers has come up with a magical diaper that has a yellow line that turns blue when peed on. And for the first two months of life, Kate would slightly wet her diaper and then scream, cry and protest the unfairness of it all until her pants were changed. So now, every time that she even slightly wets her diaper, Ben and I know it must be changed STAT or all hell will break loose.
But she changed the rules on us last week. Now, she will slightly wet her diaper and fuss to let us know it needs to be changed. If we even see a hint of blue we've been programmed to change her diaper, so we immediately do so. And then, with sheer glee, Kate will urinate all over whatever we happen to be changing her on at the time. In just a few days, she has pulled this trick on our car seats, on a hotel bed, on her mattress, on her travel changing pad and on her changing table not once, twice or thrice, but FOUR times.
You see? It is genius. She never ever has to go to the bathroom in her diaper. And each time she pulls this one on us, she gets a big grin on her face and squirms around in total joy. I imagine her inner monologue as she congratulates herself on getting away with it again. And I just have to laugh at her and shake my head and think...
"You bested me again, my worthy opponent. But just wait to see who has the last laugh when you are 16 and we don't get you a car because you peed on me one too many times."
Ahhhhh, sweet revenge.