Shhhh, they know too much already

I mean, seriously. How. Do. They. Learn. It?

I have never, and I mean NEVER walked around the house, grabbing things in my greedy little hands and yelling, "MINE!!!!"

Not even in my most thrilling Supermarket Sweep fantasy, where anything and everything I can see COULD possibly BE mine, do I verbally stake claim to each item (I'm too busy shoving steaks in my cart, because, COME ON, THE MEAT IS WHERE THE MONEY IS. Strategy, baby. Strategy)

So you can imagine my shock and awe when I realized that not only does my kid know the WORD "mine" but also very heartily grasps its concept. The first time she clutched a toy to her chest and said "mine," I was dumbfounded. And to be fair, that toy WAS hers, so I held a certain amount of pride in her first declaration. But after a few more instances where I had to keep my voice as non-snarky as possible when I told her that she was, in no uncertain terms, INCORRECT when she labeled that television remote as "mine," I realized we might have a situation on our hands. And then, I had to think, where does she LEARN this shit?

And I realized. Our kids are smart folks. They KNOW things. And as they get older, they get SMARTER. I'm fairly certain that I'm going to have to start some in-depth strategizing with Ben by the time Kate is two to keep ahead of her.

In the meantime, I'm buying a label machine and making sure everyone can read that certain items, like the remote or the ice cream in our freezer, belongs to: "Liz THIS IS MINE Edelbrock." Not sure this addresses the root of the "mine" problem with Kate, but it sure as hell makes me feel better having staked claim to all the real goodies in the house. So really? Problem solved.

Summer sabbatical

Hi there. Happy back to school. Or as I like to call it, OH THANK YOU LORD JESUS FOR BRINGING BACK MY SANITY AND HELPING ME NOT JUMP OFF A BUILDING DURING SUMMER BREAK AMEN.

Yeah... so it was kind of like that this summer. Which explains, and with good reason, why this is my first post in two months. Some people take a summer vacation. I took a summer blogging sabbatical. Because when you live in Texas where it is 100 degrees on a cool day, and you don't have Mother's Day Out to give you a few hours of sanity a week, and you only have two TWO friends with kids and they are all, like, traveling and busy and stuff, you will very nearly lose your mind. Where did it go? I don't know, I think Dora or Elmo or those damn Backyardigans ate it. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Muy Delicioso!

But with joy, happiness and just a bit of desperation, I formally announce summer is over. And in celebration, I am posting a summer recap/update so we can all catch up and be friends again. I hope you enjoy my "Suck it Summer" photo album.

Kate is 17 months old. SEVENTEEN! She will be driving, like, next week. She is amazing, wonderful and hilarious. Her favorite foods are plums, tuna and green beans. She will stick a crayon in your coffee, throw a toy in your face and then hug you so hard you forget what it was that she did wrong just a second ago. And check it out, she is so responsible she already has her first job as a gas attendant. Atta girl!

I went to Las Vegas. Without a baby. I stayed up until 2 a.m. I am a rockstar AND a mommy. Holla.

For everyone waiting with baited breath to find out how my public humiliation diet has been going, well, um, yeah. Its going. My goal was to lose 18 pounds and that hasn't happened. Because when you are slowly descending into the hot, sauna like hell of Texas summer, there is nothing that can save you but a cold beer and some nachos. But I HAVE lost 12 pounds in three months, so I'm not going to crab about it. We are eating much healthier than previously, and while I cheat weekly (it keeps me going, don't judge!) We kind of feel like we've made a lifestyle change, not been on a three month diet. So, yay me.

My brother-in-law got married in July (so happy for you guys!) and Kate was a flower girl with her older cousin Lily. They were pretty fantastic, although Kate was slightly confused about her role. She was more a flower picker upper than a flower tosser. Maybe it was because she couldn't stop hugging her cousin to pay attention during rehearsals. Amateur. 

No one is safe

So two weeks ago, when it was totally relevant, I started a post about Kate walking. I never finished it due to some diaper or work emergency, I can't remember exactly why. What I do know however is that her first toddling steps are glaringly missing from this blog, since our whole life seems to have changed since Kate went from our little baby to this independent TODDLER. So I feel the need to back-story her walking, and it went a little something like this...

We always knew Kate would be an early walker, as she has been taking assisted steps for several months now. However, exactly one week and one day before her year birthday, Kate took her very first unprovoked steps while I was on a conference call for work (I've been working part-time from home). And, because I was distracted, it didn't feel like a huge deal at the time. It registered that Kate was walking towards me from the fridge, I mean, I mentally noted it because I've become a genius at multi-tasking with Kate (I can strategize with a client and feed a fussy infant a cracker while working the remote to find Handy Manny so she will BE QUIET MOMMY IS ON A CALL with the best of 'em) and I had already seen her take a few steps before, when Ben or I would let go of her hands and she'd walk a tiny distance into our arms. So anyways, I mentally noted all this happening but really didn't react, except to flinch when she went from standing to flat on her face, which is apparently her only means to go from walking to not walking.

So I hang up after the call and look at her, and she looks at me, like "Hey jerk face -- I'm doing something pretty amazing and cool here, could you focus on me for like, TWO SECONDS??" and I'm all "What? Like mommy doesn't have other things to do than focus on you?" and she is all "YOU SUCK!"

And while that conversation MAY be a SLIGHT exaggeration of the actual discussion (since Kate's verbal skills are limited to hi, mama, dada, doggie and crowing like a rooster) once I hung up and looked down at her, I realized the enormity of what had happened while my attention was elsewhere. My little girl had pulled herself to standing and on her own gumption, taken three tiny steps that had really big meaning.

She was no longer my baby girl. She was my toddler.

The rest of the day it was very tentative exploration time and I watched her like a hawk (to make up for, you know, being a crappy mom). Kate was up and down all over the living room, the kitchen, the hallway, her bedroom... you get the idea. It was two to three steps every time and then a less-than-graceful fall to the floor. At which point I would hold my breath, preparing for the wail and a few tears, but she seemed so impressed by herself that she just would take a breather and then get ready for the next big adventure, courtesy of her new found freedom from crawling.

Two days later, I had a naked baby screaming a tiny war cry as she ran down the hall from bath time, off to do something very important like terrorize the dogs or a demolish a village of her Fisher Price Little People. With walking, Kate has become invincible. And not too unlike a cuddly version of Godzilla. Woe be to anyone or thing in her path. She will stomp, and likely fall, all over your ass.

And, yes, I realize this photo has nothing (like, totally, 100% nothing) to do with my post. But it makes me laugh every single time I look at it, so there you go. You are welcome.

One year

Dear Kate,

Today you turn one, and I can't believe how the past year has flown by. You utterly amaze me with every passing moment and I'm so honored and proud to have brought you into this world. I just love everything about you. You are such a tiny little person who literally fills up a room with your big personality. I can watch you for hours and laugh with you constantly. I love the way you command a room with your funny booty shaking dances, how you kiss or hug every other child you see, the way you point at what you want and shake your head at me when I get it wrong. I love when you do something new, something that you came up with all on your own, like blowing raspberries to mimic me blowing my nose, using my hand to push the buttons on toys that are too hard for you to push, pulling a cap off a pen and finding it maybe the coolest thing on the planet so you have to do it 50 times in a row. And I love it when you finally learn to do something I've been working on with you, like when you learned to play peek-a-boo, to crow like a rooster and of course, walking like a champ. I could go on and on because the things you do that make me proud, that make me happy, that make me in awe of you -- the list is endless.

Thank you for making me a better person. Thank you for teaching me a new kind of love. Thank you for making me rich in spirit and whole in person.

I love you.

Mom

Bragging rights

I try to stay away from gushing about Kate in my posts. Not just because it could get boring and repetitive for you, but because all the things that I would gush about seem awfully small to an outsider (She smiles all the time! She sings and coos! No shit, she is a baby!!). But every once in awhile, I think gushing is a good thing, and today seems like the day. Because today, our little Kate turns four months old, and all the small things she is and does on a daily basis is what adds up to be the greatest blessing I've been given in this life.

So here goes a list of just a few of the things I love about my Kate.

1. Kate is a flirt. Men, women, children, it doesn't matter who, Kate loves attention. Whenever faced with an admirer, Kate has her coy little act down pat. She will stare at someone for a few seconds, then grin really big and turn and bury her head in the chest of the person holding her. Then she will look back to make sure she still has an audience, and give another big gummy grin, then again bury her head. She'll keep this up until said admirer gets tired of staring at her adorable little face (doesn't happen often) or she needs a nap or milk break.


2. Kate smiles with reckless abandon. There is no holding back with my baby, and when she smiles, her whole face lights up with joy. Her nose scrunches and she truly grins with her eyes.


3. Kate sleeps like her mommy. As soon as Kate figured out how to roll from her back to her front, she decided sleeping on her side was the way to be. She rolls over almost onto her stomach, so that her top leg is crossed over and kind of pulled up near her chest, like a little mini-me. I also love when she is just out to the world, that slack-jawed deep and peaceful slumber which adults rarely experience unless drunk or on sleep meds. At those times, the world could be exploding around her (or okay, a more likely scenario is that the doorbell rings and the dogs go crazy) and she doesn't even flinch.


4. Kate is a wiggle worm. A tiny bundle of raw energy, Kate is constantly rolling over, looking around, pulling at toys, shaking her rattles, kicking her legs and stuffing whatever she can reach into her mouth.


5. Kate is an (evil) genius. Not only does she constantly outwit Ben and I, but she does this thing with her hands where she rubs them together and twists her fingers like she is in the process of creating a nefarious (but brilliant) scheme to rule the world, or at least the Edelbrock household. It is pretty adorable when she is falling asleep while planning her next move for world domination.


6. Kate is a talker. She is constantly chatting to herself, her panda, her hands or feet, me, the mirror, a wall, the dogs, or insert inanimate object of your choice here.


7. Kate is handsy. There is nothing I love more than watching her explore her world by touching, grabbing and scratching everything around her. I love picking her up and having her wrap her hand in my hair, my shirt, my necklace, and I love how she falls asleep while eating with her hand on me for comfort.

The list of things I love could go on and on. Obviously, she isn't curing cancer or solving quadratic equations. But what she is doing is growing and learning and changing and I couldn't be more proud.

As for the official baby stats, today Kate weighs 11 lbs 15 oz and is 24.5 inches long.


Kate and Panda at 1 month

Kate and Panda now (4 months)